Feeling lost - trying to find my purpose
It's been a while that I have been struggling to find where my life is headed, what is it that I am striving towards. This is not what keeps me up at night, but worse, leaves a nagging feeling of not being satisfied with whatever I do, no matter what is achieved or accomplished. People in my life see the success I have created for myself, especially with where I came from, but they do not see the sacrifices made by me and my family for this. They do not see that even though my life may seem perfect on the professional front, there is lack of deep bonds in my life. We always see what others have more than us, yet never realise we have something which others don't. Everyone has different drivers in life, and very often we have everything but the thing we crave most. Or one can say we crave, that we do not have.
(Always interested in the grass on the other side, aren't we)
So, to seek some clarity I turned to my tarot cards and here is what they say.
Me right now: The wheel of fortune
I am in the midst of changing times (well, aren't we all). Coming back to what tarot tells me- I am on the path to #kingofpentacles energy, with divine interventions bringing the changes required in my life to lead me to this path. Personally, I don't mind this energy (though #tenofcups might have been more welcome). Now as I am moving towards my energy destination, I have to undergo transition, some of it painful, also bear the burdens of a King. Now, one can say you are getting to be a king (though all I wanted was to be a princess), there are hurdles to be overcome and responsibilities to be fulfilled when you are a king. Life has been throwing challenges and blockages.
Challenge in life: Two of swords
And here come blockages, indecisiveness, their choices to be made if only I could make them, not that I am not capable of this, but I refuse to take the blindfold off in the fear of unknown and delay the decision. In layman's term "Procrastinating". This ones obvious, with my personality (#INFP) type, we are known for this trait making us more drawn to flexible work environments. Or in this case being the King now does not seem that bad, you reach a place where you can go at your own pace, however you still have #theemperor to answer to and above all #universe is always there to serve #karma.
Advise from the universe: The magician
#Manifest, manifest and manifest!! Apparently I have all the tools to get what I want and what I am supposed to do. So, simply saying I can be #theprincess and the #king both. All I have to do is think and apply the right skills for each at right places. My subconscious knows how, the challenge is to bring it to the conscious and act. This will lead me to my purpose or soul path, to something that I truly desire and will bring peace to my wandering mind.
The probable outcome: Five of wands
Conflict and drama, the transformation is leading to end of cycle and a mew beginning, quite like the caterpillar to #butterfly transition. One might seem to be hibernating to others, however all this time there was a transformation happening. Death of the old and birth of the new. And boy, does transforming into a butterfly turn heads and sprinkle some drama. And what would be a king who cannot cause stir among people.
By the end of it, there is some direction on my question. I am on a journey writing my own #destiny, and the #path is not easy and that is what causes doubts and illusions, but one needs to continue down the path with faith and enjoy the #journey, for no joy sits at the destination. It's the process that should bring happiness and not the outcome. I know easier said than done, but this is one the key learnings for one to align themselves to the design on the universe.
Hope this resonated with some people and there is #soultribe for likes of me also 🙂. Saying goodbye for now, hope to be back soon and more often. Merry Christmas 🎄